Idit Sharoni joins me to talk topics related to relationships and fidelity. She's a relationship expert and a licensed marriage and family therapist in Miami, Florida. She specializes in affair recovery, communication issues, and helping couples who sense they are drifting apart. Idit loves helping couples in committed relationships strengthen their communication or rebuild trust and heal after infidelity. If you’re at a place where you’re having a hard time with your partner or there’s something missing, this is the episode for you.
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The Mission Log:
- [04:25] - Idit shares a bit about herself and explains why she does what she does.
- [06:47] - What is the main obstacle that people are encountering in their relationships?
- [08:08] - After infidelity, people are shattered, Idit explains. She points out how valued monogamy is in the modern world.
- [09:42] - Men used to cheat more than women, but we’re rapidly closing that gap.
- [10:57] - Idit explains that most of the reasons that people cheat can be divided into two categories.
- [12:43] - Idit shares a case study to illustrate why somebody might cheat even in a really good relationship where nothing is fundamentally wrong.
- [14:44] - Orion shares a story of going to a conference with her husband a few months ago. Idit then offers her suggestion for what Orion could have done in the situation she describes.
- [17:26] - American society makes it seem like being a jealous wife is a terrible thing, and you should hide it as much as you can. Idit shares a different perspective.
- [19:12] - Idit talks about the shock that people can feel about infidelity, and recommends that people not believe that infidelity isn’t something that can happen to them.
- [22:46] - There are three phases to moving through infidelity: the initial shock phase, a reattachment phase, and a rebuilding or restart phase.
- [25:57] - There’s a lot of work you need to do as a couple before you can rebuild, Idit explains.
- [26:23] - What are some of the steps that Idit gives people to work on it as a couple?
- [29:30] - Idit explores the difference between interrogative questions and investigative questions.
- [34:14] - For people who have been together for a long time, what are some tools for good communication to reduce the chances of cheating on each other?
- [36:55] - Idit talks about creating rituals of connection, and makes some specific recommendations.
- [40:56] - What are the most surprising rituals that Idit has seen people do? Orion shares one of her own.
- [45:31] - Idit shares her thoughts on polyamory and open relationships, discussing whether they’re healthy.
- [47:26] - How can people know whether they’re ready for an open relationship or polyamory if they’re looking to transition from a monogamous relationship?
- [48:44] - Idit shares her three top tips to living a stellar life: 1. Make sure that you’re doing everything you can to make your relationship thrive. 2. Make sure you like your partner, not just love them. 3. Put humor back into your relationship.
- [50:48] - Where can people get in touch with Idit?
Links and Resources: